Today, I am going to be sentimental.
haha..
Kay kay.
I'm not so jiwangness..
Skali skala. apo salahnye..
Badan tak sedap.
Waduh.
Yesterday i was suppose to be back home.
But i was not feeling good.
The moment we reached camp, I just lay down on my bed and sleep, with uniform and all.
Dang.
I just got back home today..
I just hope i get well soon..
Rabak pe..
Happy Surfing!
Burn
My day was great.
haha..
Book out today..
heheh..
Quite tiring after our duties.
Even thought of visiting her who is sick at home, to surprise her
with some small wat they call in malay- buah tangan, for her.
Until the incident just now.
Hmm..
Like i said before, she is very delicate.
delicate and sensitive.
When she is sick, even more super sensitive.
I said before she won't hear me again but somehow when she did call me the other day, the third try she called, i answered.
Bad move.
ok lah. dier sakit kan.
i understand.
just listen to her what she gonna said.
Well.
Somehow something i said made her go what i term as - super tension dramatic low self-esteem.
Gosh..
Poor her.
And there she goes saying i looked down on her.
i dunnoe what is going on her mind.
I hope someone who she love to be with so much can extract that inner thing that is bothering her inside.
It is eating her for goodness sake.
Think to much about her appearance.
Fat, curvy,bozo watever, if u have that nice character, people look on u.
even though u think u are ...watever..
anyway
What so good of looking slim, looking handsome, macho, muscular, beautiful, sexy tapi perangai seseorang itu mcm siak.
Buat ape.
people look down on that particular someone.
Mmg aku perangai.
Aku perangai mcm sial kalau seseorang itu mcm sial kat aku.
Kalau seseorang itu baik kat aku, tau tau jelah.
Sesiape yg knal aku, mereka tahu.
Think bout it.
We see each other grew up.
You grew up into a beautiful lady.
But to think of it, last time was different from now.
Wat drew me to u is your character.
Your ownself.
Not looks.
You as in you yourself.
Character.
Can't compare your looks then and now though.
Now of course la u look better than the last time kan.
And the You i know is gone.
Guys fall for u even the time we were together.
Just be grateful of ur attraction power.
Anyway, just tell urself u are beautiful.
Don't care how u look asalkan kemas, rapi, lawa, dan berpakaian.
And build up ur character.
By the way.
I just feel like talking about this someone.
Baru hari tu aku berbual pasal dier.
Puji puji dier.
Tapi skrng dah tunjuk dier punye lawa.
U disappoint me bro.
U make urself being look down at.
tsk tsk.
Disappointing...
First msg2 aku, lu gua. bla bla.
kay tu tak pasal.
Tuduh aku pulak aku kacau matair dier.
Eh eh..
dah melampau tu.
Pikir aku ni takde kerje lain nak ganggu matair org?
Ingat aku ni takde org lain nak tergila gilakan?
kesian org mcm gitu fikir mcm gitu, kan.
Aku ganggu dier ke dier ganggu aku?
Siape yang call2 aku sampai aku angkat jugak walaupun aku busy?
Dier call ke aku yg call?
Selidik dulu boy sebelum nak tuduh2 sebarangan.
lepas tu msg punye msg tak puas walaupun aku diam je buat cool.
Last yg aku nak ketawa, dier start the move:
'............amcm nk cuba gua ke per?'
Aku ade msg dier aku simpan kalau korang nak tngok.
Cuba ape mangkok? main kuti kuti?
Aku tetap cool.
Tngok aku tak reply,
Dier call, lagi...
waduh..
dier mcm tak puas tu.
tapi kasihan, satu haprak perkataan dier berbual aku tak paham.
Suara lembik sngt.
Static lak tu.
tak paham aku.
aku dngn kwn aku ketawa ketawa mcm org giler kat blkng bas.
Dier getak aku.
Dier nak cari aku.
Ko nak turun kat tmpt aku.
Sblum ko nak sentuh aku, ko pikir dua kali.Lagi bagus pikir tiga,empat kali.
Oh.
Dier pikir dier hidup dlm dunia dier yg takde undang2.
Ha!
LAgipun
Dier pikir aku tak knal dier siape.
Dier pikir aku takde kwn yg knal dier kat skola bsar dier tu?
Dier pikir aku tak tau mane dier keje.
Pukul bape dier balik.
Pukul bape dier pergi.
Waduh.
Ko nak gaduh ngan aku pasal perempuan?
Where's your manhood boy?
Masih budak sekolah.
Nak berbual besar ngan aku.
Fokus kat skola tu.
Fokus kat blaja nursing ko tu.
Jgn nak gertak gertak aku.
Pasal perempuan lak tu.
Dang.
Manhood drop on the floor wriggling my boy.
Bilang gadis ayu sayang kau tu jgn nak cari2 aku in the first place.
Aku yg tercari2 dier?
Mcm aku katakan, selidik dulu sblum nak gertak aku.
Yg aku terpikir lagi, ko ckp dier matair ko.
Tapi dier tak tau lak ko tu matair dier.
Ngigau kamu ni kot.
Takpe.
Skali skale.
aku faham.
lagipun, pekak telinga aku tadi ko asyik tanye aku,
'ko ade matair kan? ko ade matair kan'.
suke hati mak bapak jiran aku aku ade matair ke takde.
please lah eh.
Nak jadi gay partner aku ke tanye2?
Kalo aku gay pun tak ingin ngan org mcm ko.
mcm tadi aku dan kau dah berbual kat telepon,
aku tak nak dngr suara ko lagi berdengung kat kepala otak aku mula dari 23 November 2008.
irritating.
Ape bende si gadis ko bilang ko eh?
Lain aku ckp, lain dier dngr, lain dier bilang ko eh.
Maklumlah, org dah marah, telinga jadi pekak, mata jadi buta, otak tak boleh pikir.
Astagfirullahalazim!
Aku sebagai seorang lelaki,
malu ngan sikap ko.
Memalukan masyarakat lelaki.
PAsal perempuan ko jadi gitu.
Under spell ke pe?
Kesian
ee..
Malu ah lelaki ngan lelaki nak bergaduh pasal perempuan.
hish..
MAlu ah..
MAndi hadas ah.
Mmg tadi dah aku selesaikan.
Cume satu je.
Aku lepas kan kat sini sebab aku tak paham dan tak puas knape dier gertak aku tadi.
Bdn aku panas je sampai skrng.
Tapi cool je.
Pantang larang moyang aku kene gertak tak tentu pasal tanpa bukti.
Lebih baik lepaskan dari buat bende tak senonoh nnt.
One more thing.
You disappoint me girl.
This is the second time.
Ckp ngan kwn lelaki kau tu, makan bynk garam dulu sblum nak gertak2 aku tak tentu pasal.
Tak tau nak berbual secara lelaki kepe.
Aku tak main ah ngan gertakan ni sume.
Kau fikir aku siape?
Kau yg cari aku,
kau bilang lelaki kau tu aku ganggu kau.
Aku mcm nak pakai perkataan jantan aje kat lelaki kau tu.
Selidik dulu ah boy.
Thank you very much.
Slmt mlm to all!
Burn
p.s. Mereka tau siape mereka. Don't ask.
(They know who they are)
Time checked- 0300 Hours.
Got back from outing with my men/friends.
Tiring but fun or wat.
haha..
Still i can't sleep.
Maybe play some games for awhile?
maybe..
watever..
hoho..
SIAO..
Nite nite people..
haha..
eee..
so like wat..
SIAO..
Happy Surfing!
Burn
Thank you for being there with me and sharing my life with me. Thank you for everything you did for me.
Thank you for your patient, your understanding, your wonderful smile and laughter that brighten up my day everytime when i feel like i'm going down the drain.
You are a one wonderful girl that share a life with me. I'm grateful with that.
NS changed our life.
I rarely have the time to be with you because of training.
But now, after passing out from training, and having the time ,we weren't not able to spend time like we use to before as we are not like we used to be.
On that 24th July, i know i wasn't straight forward to u. We knew we want to be together, but i want to clear things with you before we ever get together. I do not want things of the past to happen again between the two of us. We know we will face obstacles along the way just like we used to face together for the past 1277 days but i wanna clear things with u again, so that we can go through life together. I guess i wasn't straight forward to u that i wanna talk with you but when we are not able to talk on that day before i book in, i make myself frustrated. I remember you told me that day, there will be some other time to talk. But to me, there is no other time. Since i will not be booking out for the next two weeks after that and i was worried, someone will take you away. I was looking for a better long-lasting relationship with you.I was frustrated with myself for the way i wasn't straight forward to u.
But that is the past now.
You know someone better and I am happy for you.
The only thing i want to see in you is for you to be happy.
I'm grateful for one of your bestfriend, Sakinah.
Thank you for being with there with her.
Thank you for being a bestfriend to her.
Thank you.
For now, I end this post.
We can't be friends for now.
It sucks that everytime when we talk in the phone, we will argue and our hearts will break with sadness.
You do look forward to be in good terms with me.
so do i.
But i don't think it is a good time for us.
Negative thoughts will always be in your mind and mine.
Forgive me for calling or messaging you.
You won't hear from me again starting from today, 18 November 2008.
Maybe when the time is right, we will talk again.
To Mahmud,
I believe you are a better man for her.
I have this feeling that you will take good care of her.
She told me a lot about you.
I hope you won;t be like Fitri soondell.
That feeling i feel when Fitri was with her doesn't exist for you.
I believe you will take good care of her and make her Happy.
She is a very delicate girl, may be sensitive over time but she is very loving.
Believe me.
When she loves someone, she really meant it.
when she hates someone, thats it.
But, take over her heart and she loves you again.
Do take good care of her feelings.
I look upon you.
Siti Nurdurriah.
Take care of yourself and be Happy always.
May we hear each other again...
Sincerely,
Burn
For now, I'm going to get ready.
I think they be waiting for me now.
I gotta go.
Rabak or wat.
I lost one of my contact lenses.
Now, i feel like i'm blind on one eye.
Okay lah..
can say, i can't see clearly on one eye.
Dammit.
Just bought it few days ago, n its gone.
Now i have to get a new one. again.
Freak...
Hmm..
tomorrow, insya'allah outing with my section.
Dunnoe lah where they want to go..
We'll see..
I'll just enjoy my time.=D
haha..
Will update soon!
Big Hug!
heheheh.
Burn
p.s. hmm.. do i look like 20?
dang...
I'll update more...Life is full of surprises.
Sometimes it is complicated for you to understand the real meaning
that is happening right in front of you.
But once you break the code and realisation hits you,
You will understand that sometimes things will not happen as what you want it to be.
Even what you and someone that have been closed to you before wanted how life to be,
sometimes, things happened in between and you have to understand and accept it.
Sometimes, Fate do play a part in it.
You have to accept it and move on with your wonderful life ahead of you.
But will fate let us to see the one again someday?
Only Allah will decide.
Life is wonderful.
There are many challenges and surprises ahead.
Better opportunity than your previous experience.
Enjoy!
And To You,
Thanks For Being With Me the Other Day.
Its great that we spend time together to forget all of our own dreadful moments of the past.
I won't forget you.
Good Luck in whatever u do!
=D
***photo taken out***
********************
She's attached.
Respect. =)
********************************
photo taken out
********************************
Who she is?
She is my neighbour and a friend of mine.
Don't go over mcm ye ye paham.
My neighbour, and my friend. =D
*edited on 13 November 2008*
Happy Surfing!
Burn
Dang...
Green...
Dang...
*heart beats fast*
Dang...
Lotus...
Exige...
Dang...
Where have you been?
Happy Surfing!
Burn
p.s Forever you will be in my heart...
GREEN PASSION!
Nuffnang ads code traumatised my blog. Whenever i put the code in, it manipulate my codes in my blog. All go haywire. My shoutbox becomes paydotcom.com ads, my orignal paydotcom.com ads 
expand like wat. My quotes of the day becomes google ads.. dang..
Wat is wrong with the code? i have no choice but to pull it out of my blog before it changes things in my blog. Gotta fix this.. I need to find out wat is wrong...
Any comments from those who have been with nuffnang long enough?
Happy Surfing!
Burn
p.s Will i be driving in one of these race cars someday? Soon.. U will never know... =D
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