1st June 2008

WARNING!
(post may not be suitable for minors)

Damn. damn. damn.
Shit. I can't stop shaking!
I really can't control it.
DAmmit!
Seriusly i'm gonna explode soon...
I'm trying very hard to keep my cool .. Seriusly...
But hell... No use getting angry without questioning her first.
Pictures can be deceiving.
True?

Dammit...
I just broke my remote control. Fuck..!
I'm keeping my cool ...
Controlling...
Let me take a deep breathe before continue typing..
I need a glass of water...
FARKk!

... I'm back...
fuh...
I'm speechless.. My brain is jumble up.

Remember the last post, where I talk about searching google with Her name on it?
Well.
Somehow my gut feeling ask me to search her name in Google again just out of curiosity.
Well..

One of the search shows me one of my nemesis name on it. The tag was direct to Her.
The first time I saw it, I never take second look . But this time, My eyes just pops out. I'm curious. I click on it to take a look. The screen shows me the same screen the first time I saw this.
Still I'm curios coz why the hell Her name is related to this nemesis.
I know this guy btw.
I kept searching for it but I get nothing from it.
Something caught my eye though.
The 'Youtube' with the Tag of that guy name. (i block out the names coz I respect people's privacy; even though I'm too angry and to the hell to his privacy)


Back to my story.
I went to YouTube and search for this nemesis.
But it doesnt work.
There are too many similar people sharing his name.
The next thing I do, was to search Her name.
Ha! How Google make my life much more "happier".
Bam! on my face, a video with a song ,
words of love for her, pictures of her, and him.
And the pictures of them DATING behind my fucking back.

How heartbreaking is it?
Whats even worse, I dun even know bout it.
At least she knew if I went out with friends.
But not for me. Damn fuck!
I going to take a second third fourth fifth look at those pictures to
ensure it is geniune. COz I know this guy is a maniac who loves to get
her pictures and sometimes alter it.
This is truly heartbreaking.
I know there are some guys who fell for her and told her bout it.
But rejected them and regard them as friends.

but not this guy.
What even worse is, they went out together!(investigating)
And he confess to her.
Make a music video dedicated to her.
And have pictures of them going OUT!
Without me knowing!?
WHAT THE FUCK!

I have his videos, pictures for proof.
No use for that FUCK to delete that video.
I have it in my possesion. Pictures too.

Now I'm truly convince why there is a sudden change in her towards me,
even though I admit it my attitute towards her may be changing her.
But still I fight for time to be with her.
Damn!
Dun u even noe the suffering I had to endure in camp, keep thinking bout u.
Trying to find time to be with u?
When i have the time, I decided to mit u but in the end u cant make it.
Now I have doubts whether is it really true u went out with ur mom the other day.
Or even just now. Don't you know i still loves u?

NOw I'm totally convince you change even though u may say i change a lot.
Last week when i accidentaly open your message, I saw this number which i noted down in my head. When i double check that hp number, it was him.
That is why u were so angry with me when i accidentaly open ur message.
This also explain why u have the SUDDEN interest in Punk Rock Music especially Love songs.
Coz why? He is an avid Punk Rock lover.
This isn't a concrete evidence/explaination but who cares now. It explain everitin!

Hm..
What else i'm gonna say.
It's my fault?
LEt it be my fault.
Its my fault.
I'm in the wrong.
My fault.
hell..
Whats the point of fighting over a gerl?

As a gentleman , I say u go ahead.
U two go ahead.
No use getting someone hurt.
Now i'm going to take a short nap before morning sun rises.
I"m gonna investigate.
I don't think OUR date is On later today...

~adios~

Burn
01st June 2008 0416 HRS